Now Choose Life

Choose Life in the after- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave

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What I Learned In November 2016

November 29, 2016 by Sharon

I hope that I continue to learn, and I hope the lessons become more profound as I age.  Some months it seems to be simple lessons learned while other months, the lessons learned are much more profound.

Here is what I learned in November:

1.  I have an extremely supportive husband.  Several things have happened over the past few weeks and months where Dr. T has shown his love and support.  I always knew that that he was behind me and there for me, but this month he has read and and helped me edit a piece I wrote for another blog. He has allowed my sweet little dog, Scout, to come and live with us ( he will have to dog sit for me next weekend). He keeps telling me that he wants me to be happy. His love and support make me very happy!

2.  You don’t need two spaces after periods!! Where have I been? Really- where have I been? I guess I’m a dinosaur. Dr. T and I had a conversation about my double spaces, but I told him that when you double space it supplies the period automatically. However, I guess that is just when I’m texting. I really never paid any attention to it while typing. I have very spastic fingers while typing and since I just verbally vomit on the page when typing my thoughts, I really never paid any attention. This month, I read an article on the “double space”, had a conversation with Dr. T, and had to correct all double spaces in a blog post I wrote for another blog.

3.  I like to linger. I like the word “linger.” According to Dictionary.com, linger is defined as- “to remain or stay in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave.” I love the phrase, “reluctance to leave.” The older I get, the more I find that I enjoy to linger. Linger over a glass of wine, linger at the dinner table, linger in a hug with my husband or family members. To linger is a great show of affection to
someone. You are reluctant to leave their presence! That is a nice thing. This realization came to me at my parents’ house over Thanksgiving. The whole family gathers in the living room with coffee and a breakfast snack in the mornings, and we tend to linger there. Topics of discussion vary dramatically from politics to funny retelling of stories, but still we linger- every time. That’s a great memory that I have.

4.  Unconditional love and grace are necessities in life. Maybe it’s been the election and how truly mean I’ve seen people be to each other, but I believe that if we can’t show unconditional love and grace to others, we are honoring God with our lives.  We really have nothing else of any substance to give to the people in our lives.

There you have it!!  All valuable lessons!

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After her husband’s sudden and unexpected death, Sharon McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her grief: faith, family, and friends. Her love of words and writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. It is through her grief journey that Now Choose Life was born. Read More

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