One thing that I have noticed so much- especially after R passing away is that so many people who go on to do great things in life have suffered a huge setback in their younger days. Most of the time it is that they have lost a parent. I remember telling my children this not long after losing R- C and I had traveled to Europe to meet M after her study abroad in Madrid. While we were staying a few days in Paris, I remember breaking down one afternoon to them and them telling me that I had to learn to deal with this…. and it just came to me– my kids were going to overcome the death or their father and it was only going to make them stronger–just like all of those biographies that I had read.
I love Anderson Cooper. I think he is the most down to earth, genuine person on TV. I think he is handsome- I love his grey hair and piercing blue eyes!! So when I realized several years ago that his mother was Gloria Vanderbilt and that he too had lost a parent at a young age – plus the terrible fact that his brother committed suicide– I was very intrigued.
I pre ordered the book he wrote with his mom The Rainbow Comes and Goes and started reading it on our flight back from Jamaica. It is an easy read, but is full of magnificent stories about his relationship with his mother. I love that he calls his father “Daddy”- I guess it is such a southern thing to do and I just love it.
The main theme that I took from the book is the idea of moving forward after a tragedy. I felt that huge need to move forward after losing R. Sometimes I wonder if I moved forward too quickly, but I can’t go back and change anything that I have done. I felt that my children needed to see me move forward so that they too could move forward in a healthy manor.
One part of the book Gloria talks about a quote by Virgil “Perhaps some day it will be pleasant to remember even this.”
She goes on to say in the book “Whenever you’re restless or miserable, if you can imagine that at some point you may look back on that moment fondly, it may make the present more bearable. Even what appears to be a terrible problem my in the future turn out to be a positive change. You just never know.”
Of course there is no way that I can ever look back on losing R fondly, but I can look back on some of the things that have happened and realize that good does come out of bad if we allow it. My relationship with C would never be what it is today if we hadn’t gone through hell together.
I highly recommend reading The Rainbow Comes and Goes. Read it and allow the words to have meaning in your own life.