Now Choose Life

Choose Life in the after- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave

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Still Dealing With Mom Guilt!!

July 18, 2016 by Sharon

I’m back in Texas for a week.  I drove to my parents’ house for a weekend visit.  Monday I drive down to my house for a visit with my son.  Daughter M and Dr. T both fly in from different directions on Thursday.  they land within an hour of each other so that will be great for me.  I won’t have to make another trip to the airport.

My parents have been fun and I laugh so hard at the things they say!!!  All I can say about my mom is that “she’s a doodle.”  (See Driving Miss Daisy if you don’t know what that means!!

I have been anxious about some things with this weekend.  M really wanted to be able to be in her house for a bit around the wedding.  I changed my plans and decided to go early to the wedding so she could do that. Dr. T and I have to drive back home on Sunday.  M’s flight isn’t until Monday.  There are no definite plans on how she will get back home from the wedding and no plans for how she will get to the airport.  I know at 24 all of that really is her issue, but as her mom, I feel like it is partly mine too.

I keep feeling guilty that I can’t be at her disposal to get her where she needs to be for this wedding.  If our lives hadn’t been completely turned upside down 4 years ago by the death of her dad, I would be able to do whatever she needs.  However, that isn’t our life anymore.  I will be ready to go home with Dr. T on Sunday.  I’m very happy in my life with him— and then I feel guilty about that!!!

I guess all of this is just normal for someone in my position, but wanting your old life back while you are very happy with your life now is a hard way to live!!!

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After her husband’s sudden and unexpected death, Sharon McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her grief: faith, family, and friends. Her love of words and writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. It is through her grief journey that Now Choose Life was born. Read More

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