Today would (should) have been my 30th wedding anniversary with Randy. But, we were only given 26- It was 26 years on April 26, 2012- then three days later he was gone. Life had different plans for me than the plans I had for myself. It would be really easy to be sad today and dwell on the negatives, but Randy was too wonderful for me to do that. I am choosing today to be thankful for the years that we had together, and especially be thankful for the two biggest blessings that came out of our life together- C and M. I’m also thankful to have Dr T. in my life- a man who understands, and who, with me, will never allow Randy to be a stranger in our life and family. It was 26+ good years- and for that I am very thankful today!!
The above was my personal Facebook post for the day.
I still read many “widow blogs.” Over and Over I’ve read about a phenomenon in which your body seems to physically know that an important date is approaching. I can truly say that I have experience on many occasions that my body knows of a certain date even when I haven’t consciously been thinking of it all that much.
The first year after losing Randy, I became physically sick the week before our anniversary and anniversary of his death. Just so sick that I had to go to bed. This year is different– I don’t feel like I’ve thought about the two upcoming dates in April, but out of the blue, I just find myself crying– not even feeling really sad, but just crying for no reason. I guess that is just part of it!! A part that I really don’t like- but I guess there really isn’t much of anything about all of this that I like.
In my Grief Share class that I took years ago, they used the phrase- “Do The Next Thing” I used that so much to help me that first year. I would not allow myself to sit around and dwell on things- I got up and did something- the next thing. But today, I’ve not done much of anything. I think after four years, I deserve a day to do nothing and reflect on my life. It has been a sad day!!
The above was my personal Facebook post for the day.
I still read many “widow blogs.” Over and Over I’ve read about a phenomenon in which your body seems to physically know that an important date is approaching. I can truly say that I have experience on many occasions that my body knows of a certain date even when I haven’t consciously been thinking of it all that much.
The first year after losing Randy, I became physically sick the week before our anniversary and anniversary of his death. Just so sick that I had to go to bed. This year is different– I don’t feel like I’ve thought about the two upcoming dates in April, but out of the blue, I just find myself crying– not even feeling really sad, but just crying for no reason. I guess that is just part of it!! A part that I really don’t like- but I guess there really isn’t much of anything about all of this that I like.
In my Grief Share class that I took years ago, they used the phrase- “Do The Next Thing” I used that so much to help me that first year. I would not allow myself to sit around and dwell on things- I got up and did something- the next thing. But today, I’ve not done much of anything. I think after four years, I deserve a day to do nothing and reflect on my life. It has been a sad day!!
I’d love to know if others experience the same physical phenomenon as it gets closer to significant dates.
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