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Choose Life in the after- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave

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My Opinion

August 26, 2015 by Sharon

I’ve read a couple of items about Kathie Lee Gifford being judged for going back to work so soon after her husband passing away.  I certainly have some opinions on this.  I want to start by saying that no one should judge her choices!!  That is first and foremost.  But here are some of my thoughts on the subject.

1.  She married a much older man.  She has had years to process the fact that he would more than likely die well before she did.  Not that it makes it any easier to lose him, but I think when you have had time to process it, it would help on some level.

2.  She has grown children.  My children were 22 and 20 when we lost their dad.  They were not small, but were certainly too young to lose their father.  But that is what life dealt us.  I knew that how I reacted would deeply affect how they reacted.  They were watching me to see “how to do this.”  I could not fall apart because they were at very critical times in their lives- finishing college and starting their adult lives.  I didn’t want either of them to not go on with their plans.  I had to show them that I was going to be OK, and I tried to do that from the beginning.

3.  She has a job to do.  I know that work doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and I’m sure NBC would have given her all the time off she wanted/ needed.  But she has a job that she take seriously.  I had a job too.  Although not as high profile as hers, it was still a job.  I was a school librarian.  I had worked really hard over the years to save days to have to take off.  I thought that I might need them to help with my parents some day.  Because I wanted to keep as many days as possible and I didn’t want to just sit home and cry, I went back after about a week and 1/2.  I completely understand her wanting to get back to something that was “normal.”

4.  She has a strong faith.  Her faith has always carried her through.  And, she has the personality where she is not afraid to tell people about it.  I too have a strong Christian faith.  We buried R about 41/2 hours away from where we had the funeral service.  The kids and I made the drive- just the three of us in the car.  On the drive, I said to them.  “You know, we are going to have a lot of people watch how we handle what has happened to us.  We have a choice to make here-  are we going to grieve as Christians or are we going to fall apart.  Are we going to live our faith or not?”  Both of them told me that they had already thought of that and were making the choice to grieve in their faith.

So my opinion is that Kathie Lee is doing what she feels is best for her family and for her faith.  She always tried to live her faith-  she is going to grieve in her faith!!  That affects every decision she makes.

Filed Under: grief

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After her husband’s sudden and unexpected death, Sharon McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her grief: faith, family, and friends. Her love of words and writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. It is through her grief journey that Now Choose Life was born. Read More

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