But that isn’t my life any more. I am remarried to a man who isn’t the father of my children, and I’m certainly not his mother so the day really goes unnoticed by Dr T. He played his usual golf game today. I hate these days that grief creeps in on out of the blue, and today has been one of those days.
Not terrible, but just a small reminder that what I had is gone. That life, that family, will never be again. I could dwell on it and be sad, but that is when grief seems so selfish to me. Grief is a very selfish emotion (if it it even an emotion). I have felt a little sorry for myself today. I’m not with my kids, although I’ve heard from both of them. I’m not with my mom, although I did call her. But I’m by myself today- alone on Mother’s Day. And, I guess really that is OK because it does give me time to pause and reflect on my life and that is always a good thing.
I thought about going to church alone today since Dr. T had an early golf time, but I didn’t really want to go and have it all be about Mother’s Day so I went for a run instead. I went a little over 3 miles and it just felt so good to be out there running- I’m still not running these hills I’m not used to, but I’m running more and walking less.
I also ended up going to see the movie, Mother’s Day- now that could really make me depressed!!! What a terrible movie, but what did I expect??? I thought it might be cute, and I guess there were some cute moments, but it was just really a lousy show.
I’m going to quit feeling sorry for myself, and get up and do the next thing… hopefully fill a hummingbird feeder!!