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Choose Life in the after- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave

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Life After Loss- losing a family pet

September 5, 2020 by Sharon

Scout!!

loss of a pet

Losing a family pet is hard, but it is especially hard in life after loss. My heart is terribly heavy this week with the loss of our little Scout. He was 17 years old and had been a fixture in my life before and after the loss of my first husband.

How we got Scout!

Scout came to our family when my daughter was in Junior High School. She wanted a small house dog and begged and bugged her father about getting one. I knew I had my hands full with work and two active kids so the decision was his.

He required a presentation from her to show how she would care for her new pet if allowed to get one. M came up with the cutest PowerPoint presentation, and there was no way her dad could say no.

loss of a pet
Always in the middle of everything.

Scout demanded everyone’s attention. We always said that his best friend was whoever went to bed first. He loved to sleep with whomever would let him snuggle the longest.

Life After Loss

Part of grieving this little pup is that he was there in my “before.” He was definitely R’s dog. R trained him, and expected him to mind at all times. Scout could rollover and play dead on command. He was a huge comfort to me after R passed away in 2012. He slept with me so my bed was never completely empty when I went to sleep at night. He sat by me as I cried the buckets of tears after R’s passing.

He was the last pet from my life with R. There was just a connection to “what was” with Scout around. As all the other dogs and cats died that we had when R was alive, I knew Scout was still with me– until he wasn’t.

loss of a pet

After someone passes away, things happen in life that move you further and further away from that life before loss. It takes time to process these events. It’s grief plain and simple, and it sucks!!

Choosing Life After Loss

Scout also bridged the gap into my new life in New Mexico. He was the bonus that Dr. T didn’t expect when we married in 2015. Scout moved with me to New Mexico and neither one of us ever looked back.

I tease Dr. T that Scout was his step-dog. Dr. T grew to love Scout as much as I did, and they became inseparable on the weekends!! One thing that I love the most about my husband is how much he loved Scout.

When Scout could no longer jump up on our bed to sleep with us at night, Dr. T built a ramp for him. This wasn’t any ordinary ramp… it was lighted and skid proof!! I thought of it as a monstrosity in my bedroom, but after Scout got the hang of it, he loved it. It gave him freedom to come and go as he pleased.

loss of a pet
Scout loved to go on hikes!!

Scout brought so much joy to everyone’s life. We miss him so much. I can’t imagine heaven without our pets so I do believe that Scout is there with all the animals that went before him. He’s running after our lab, Samson, and barking all the way as R throws a Frisbee for them. They couldn’t possibly all be together without a Frisbee being thrown.

I miss you more than I can express, Scout. You were larger than life because you meant so much in my life. You snuggled to me through some of the saddest and loneliest days. You brought me so much comfort on some very difficult nights.

Dr. T and I don’t quite know how we will get along without you, but we certainly have fun stories to tell about you.

loss of a pet
New Year’s Eve 2019
My happiest memories of my walks with Scout. These last months he wasn’t able to walk very far, but he still gave it all he had.

You can read another Life After Loss Post HERE

Filed Under: grief Tagged With: grief, life after loss, loss of a pet

Comments

  1. Carol Karl says

    September 5, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    Oh Sharon, I’m so sorry for your loss. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes as I identified with it too, having lost pets as well. We have a special cat – Rosie, who is very sick and we are preparing ourselves for her loss, even though we will never really be prepared. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 6, 2020 at 10:09 pm

      I’m so sorry to hear about Rosie! I’ve been shocked at how much Scout’s death has affected me. We are so overcome with sadness!! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  2. Mary Beth says

    September 6, 2020 at 3:06 am

    Oh, Sharon. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 6, 2020 at 10:10 pm

      Thank you!!

      Reply
  3. Stacy says

    September 6, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Dogs are our babies. xoxo

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 6, 2020 at 10:11 pm

      Yes they are!! It’s been very difficult!

      Reply
  4. Linda Johnston says

    September 6, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    So heartbreaking for you and your family.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 6, 2020 at 10:09 pm

      It has been! Thank you, Linda!

      Reply
  5. Jennifer says

    September 7, 2020 at 11:32 am

    What a beautiful story! I love how your husband required a presentation before sweet Scout became a treasured member of your family.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 8, 2020 at 10:27 pm

      It’s a fun memory to have of my late husband. My daughter talks about it often!!

      Reply
  6. Linda says

    September 7, 2020 at 5:28 pm

    I am so so sorry for your loss! He sounds like he was a wonderful little pup.

    Reply
  7. Jeanne says

    September 8, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    A lovely story of a much loved member of the family. Such sweet memories. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 8, 2020 at 10:26 pm

      Thank you, yes- he was very much loved!!

      Reply
  8. Danielle says

    September 28, 2020 at 11:31 am

    So sad. I had a poodle growing up that I loved.

    Reply

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After her husband’s sudden and unexpected death, Sharon McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her grief: faith, family, and friends. Her love of words and writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. It is through her grief journey that Now Choose Life was born. Read More

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