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Choose Life in the after- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave

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Decorating For Christmas- Or Not

December 9, 2016 by Sharon

I like having some Christmas decorations out in the house. It makes the season a bit more joyous. 

In my old life, I went all out to decorate the house for Christmas. Especially after my kids were in college, I wanted them to come home to a home filled with Christmas cheer.

I placed a tree and nativity scene in almost every room. My collection of vintage Santa mugs lined the window sill in the kitchen. My open shelves were decorated with individual ornaments and my white cabinets were adorned with red ribbon where I placed my Christmas cards.

But my home hasn’t been decorated like that for 5 Christmases. Since R passed away, I could not muster the strength to get into those boxes of decorations. The first Christmas, I found a bare tree at Walmart. It looked exactly as I felt- no life. It really was pretty in its own way.

I used that tree for a couple of years. I eventually placed a red bird on a branch.
I then moved on to a couple of trees- again with no ornaments. I love looking at lights, and it added some warmth to the room.

Decorating for Christmas is still difficult. It is easier in a new home, but I still don’t seem to have the energy to go All Out. Dr. T understands and wants me to do what I feel like doing. I have a hard time deciding what I want to bring from the house in Texas to the house in New Mexico. There are so many decorations that have such special meaning to my old like- I feel like they should stay at the house in Texas. I don’t understand it myself, but a friend last night encouraged me to start collecting new ornaments and decorations and not to think about those others until I want to deal with it. I think I will follow that advice.

So here are some pictures from my old life: (these are from my last Christmas with R)

Here is my much simpler new life decorating:

Filed Under: grief

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After her husband’s sudden and unexpected death, Sharon McCuistian found herself a widow at the age of 48. With two grown children in college, Sharon had to find a way to live in her new reality. She turned to the things she loved to help in her grief: faith, family, and friends. Her love of words and writing became the cathartic venue by which she began to process her loss. It is through her grief journey that Now Choose Life was born. Read More

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