A Conversation On Grief (and a Godwink)

I was so honored to be part of my pastor’s sermon on grief this past Sunday. I was honored and also extremely anxious!! It’s hard to tell our stories, isn’t it? I’m not sure why I have such a desire to tell others my story. I hope to get a dialogue started about our journeys. That’s for sure. I hope to inspire, not necessarily through me, but through what I’ve learned, so I guess that’s a big part of it.

When my pastor asked if I would be part of the sermon, I agreed, but definitely started having feelings of anxiety!! The topic of grief is so emotional. Everyone is dealing with a different situation and a different relationship. My concern came from wanting to make sure that my part of the sermon was clear and without mistakes which could take away from the meaning and purpose. (I hope that makes sense).

Here is the conversation with my pastor. He did such a great job preparing and leading this discussion!!! He made me feel so at ease, and I’m so grateful!!

If you want encouraging messages, you can subscribe on Youtube to get his sermons HERE.

And now, here is my precious Godwink.

First, in case you aren’t familiar with the term, let me explain a Godwink!!

“A Godwink is what some people would call a coincidence, an answered prayer, or simply an experience so astonishing that it could only have come from God.” from Beliefnet.

I’ve had several Godwinks with music since Randy passed away. I will write about those next week!! Yes- God has used Aerosmith to wink at me!!!

I guess if these other musical Godwinks hadn’t happened, I might not have thought as much of what happened Sunday morning. Here is the story:

Although I felt fairly prepared for Sunday, I woke up feeling pretty anxious. The topic is so important to me that I let my fear of misspeaking get the best of me. I don’t want my verbal typos to take away from the message. I looked over my notes one more time and felt the most anxiety I had felt since I started preparing for this day. I prayed but still felt anxious. 

As I walked into the bedroom where Dr. T was listening to the songs that were going to be sung that morning (he plays the drums some Sundays). I heard Kristene DiMarco’s “It Is Well.” I walked in just before the part where she sings the words from the old hymn, “It Is Well.” (just about 3 minutes into the song)

I told Dr. T that I had just had a Godwink. The hymn “It Is Well” was sung at Randy’s memorial service. God has used it before in my life to get my attention. If you don’t know the story behind the hymn, you can read about it HERE.

I’ve always loved the hymn as I remember singing it in church with my family so many times. After my Grandad passed away, I remember going into my Nana’s room to check on her. She was sitting on the side of her bed, and as I sat by her, she told me she was just saying over and over to herself, “It is well with my soul.” I knew when Randy passed away that I wanted to have it sung at his service because it had such significance for me. 

I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe that God used that old hymn being sung in a new way this past Sunday to just give me a little wink. He used it to say to me. “I’m Here. I am in control!! It’s all going to be OK. You will be OK this morning, no matter how badly you mess up what you intend to say. I can still use it!!”

I felt such a sense of peace after hearing that song. Before Dr. T left, he reminded me of two things. First, he reminded me that this wasn’t about me!!! And, also, he let me know that we would be singing that song right before I sat down with my pastor, Mike. Both of those things I needed to hear!!!

So as I stood in church Sunday singing the last song before I was called up, I sang “It Is Well” with a grateful heart. Thank you, God, for caring so much about me!!!

Have you experienced a Godwink? If you haven’t, I’d be willing to bet you haven’t been looking for them!!!

Here is my favorite Godwink book.