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Now Choose Life

Choose to Live Your Life in Abundance in the after--- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave. Join me on my journey of CHOOSING LIFE in my after. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live- Deut 30:19

December 06, 2017

Dealing With Hardships During The Holidays- living with the unimaginable!

There is a video in this post. Please click here to see the entire post to be able to view the video. 

I've had several posts that I've wanted to write about this time of year and how hard it can be. I know so many people are going through such hard times.

Marriages are crumbling.
Families are facing Christmas with someone missing.
Friends are dealing with cancer.


R's birthday was Monday. I have been doing so well. I thought I was ready. But, I was wrong. It was a tough day. After 5 years, it was still a hard day. He would have been 56. But, he never even got to see 51. That is a hard reality to sit with sometimes!

I was lucky to get to spend the past weekend with M. We were going to celebrate her dad's birthday just like we did last year. And, we did. There was a lot left unsaid. We knew. We just know. Sometimes there are just no words.

One very special thing that we did for ourselves was to go see Hamilton. I would go again to see it today if I could. Yes, it is that good!!! I really didn't know anything about Alexander Hamilton before going. Rest assured, I'm reading a biography now. Although his life's story is fascinating. His wife, Eliza, is the more significant story to me. I love hearing the stories of strong women!!! I think throughout history, so many stories have a strong woman who sat quietly in the background and lived a great, inspiring life.

Alexander Hamilton had an affair which Eliza found out about. Soon after, their oldest son is shot and killed. Eliza is faced with living with all of this. At this point in the musical, an incredible song, "It's Quiet Uptown" is sung. That song did for me, what live theatre is meant to do-- It brought me to tears. Even in our nosebleed seats, I felt so connected with the characters and had tears streaming down my face. I haven't been able to get the song out of my mind. Lin-Manuel Miranda knew about hardship and grief when he wrote that song.


The great thing about Eliza Hamilton's story is that even after Alexander Hamilton's death, she went on to do great things. She learned to live with the unimaginable.

So I write this today, knowing that so many are hurting this holiday season. I just want to reach out and let you know that you are not alone. I know this can be a lonely time of year, but the real meaning of this time is so personal. It's not about the get-togethers, it's not even about family- not really. It's about a lonely night all those years ago, and the implication that this one birth has had on the world since. It's about Jesus. That is where we find our hope. That is where we find the peace that passes all understanding.

I'm not saying that our hurts are not valid. Pain can overshadow the most wonderful of moments. I'm just saying that for me, I need to sharpen my focus on the one thing that really matters this time of year. Not the food, the gifts, the decorations, the loneliness, the sadness, the family, the hardships, the beauty, the celebrations because those all co-exist together this time of year.

It's the Christ. My focus needs to be on Christ.

To quote the great Dr. Seuss in his classic How The Grinch Stole Christmas
        It came without ribbons! It came without tags.
It came without packages, boxes or bags!

God doesn't need our celebrations or decorations to be glorified at Christmas time! We are blessed, and He is glorified through our actions, thoughts, and praise! He meets us where we are this time of year. The Bible teaches us that Jesus understands our grief. He experienced it himself. Give what attention you can give. That's all we can ask of ourselves.


It takes work to change our focus. It isn't easy, but it can sure make this time of year more bearable.

If you are living with the unimaginable, I pray that you will try to focus on Christ. 
It is only through Christ that we find our healing.
2 comments on "Dealing With Hardships During The Holidays- living with the unimaginable! "
  1. "It's about Jesus. That is where we find our hope. That is where we find the peace that passes all understanding." - A beautiful reminder that despite the pain, trial, and suffering we face, Jesus is there to help us now and to carry us each day. Thank you for sharing!

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