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Now Choose Life

Choose to Live Your Life in Abundance in the after--- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave. Join me on my journey of CHOOSING LIFE in my after. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live- Deut 30:19

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April 28, 2017

What I Wore- Dinner With Friends

To be such homebodies, Dr. T and I have gone out a couple of times in the past few weeks and had dinner with friends. We live a very quiet life, and with Dr. T working such long hours, we treasure our time spent together at home! But, it is so nice to be invited out by friends and have a meal out!!

We have had a couple of dinner invitations recently! It is a great reason for me to get out of my yoga pants and put on real clothes!!

Our most recent was a dinner invitation to one of Dr. T's co-worker's home. This is what I wore:

A light pink sheer tunic from Banana Republic. ( A hand me down from my sister) Joe's Jeans, shoes I picked up at TJ Maxx
I love these shoes that I found at TJ Maxx. I think they look
a lot like the shoes below that I've seen on many
fashion blogs.

These shoes by Loeffler Randall cost $395.00 at
Nordstrom. I paid $25.00 for mine that I bought at TJ Maxx. I feel very good about my purchase- especially since I don't even know if I will still want to wear these shoes next summer!!

Another dinner invitation was to meet some friends from church out at a local restaurant. It is still quite cold here in the mountains of New Mexico. The day we went to dinner, it snowed all day!!

 This poncho from The Loft is a great weight! It was perfect for a snowy day under a heavy denim shirt.

I plan on wearing this poncho to outdoor evening concerts all summer!!

I've tried to "spring it up" a bit even though it is still cold here. Pants are also from The Loft (similar). Shoes are Cole Hann drivers (similar)

Our front door is extra tall so it makes me look incredibly short!!
April 26, 2017

A Day Of "What Ifs"

I think of the good old days, long since ended,
when my nights were filled with joyful songs.
  I search my soul and ponder the difference now. Psalm 77

Since April 29, 2012, April 26th has been a day of "What Ifs." My life and everything that I knew to be my life changed forever with the death of my wonderful husband. Every hope and dream that I had for the future died that day. Picking up the pieces has been a journey that at times I didn't know if I could do. The good news is that I have picked up the broken pieces and I am happy in my new life.

This journey has taught me a lot and has made me a different person. I would not want to go back to the person I was before loss. I am a better person. I have a sense of gratitude in my life that I had never had before.

April 26, 1986, was my wedding day to R. We set off on our life and never looked back. We raised two wonderful children. We celebrated 26 years of marriage. We were looking forward to our new life as empty nesters. And, then April 29, 2012 came and everything changed.

So it is hard to get through April 26, a day that was always full of happiness and reflections on how far we had come, and not think of the big "What If." What if R hadn't died that day? What if we were still married, and both working and looking toward our golden years? What would my life be like? I let my mind wander as I wonder and ponder these "What Ifs." But I always find that it really doesn't serve a purpose. I would rather my mind wander to the multitude of memories that I have. The early days, the hard days, the planned days, the spontaneous days, the lonely days, the crammed with kids' activities days-- all of those days that made up our life together. Those are the things I cherish these days. I have learned that I can't live in the "What Ifs." It is too painful.

I don't know why I am amazed that even today, the words I hear in my GriefShare class still apply to what I'm going through. Godwinks reign in my life!!! Just last week the phrase- "Try to live in the 'What Is' world not the 'What If' world" made me pause and think on the week that was to come.

That is what I need to concentrate on today- My "What Is" world is a very blessed world.

I am so happy in my life today. I am married to one of my best friends. Dr. T loves me and is so good to me. We are extremely compatible. I can talk to him like I can talk to no one else. He listens to me and understands. He supports whatever I want or need in this new life. I love him more than I ever thought possible. Our marriage is a top priority in our life together.

The people that I love the most are happy and healthy. My parents are doing well despite some issues with my father. My sister and her family are doing well. My kids are both healthy and both in healthy relationships with people that I love.

My "What Is" is not what I thought it would have been 5 years ago. I wouldn't have known that with all that has happened that I could ever be this happy. But I am, and I'm so thankful for the blessings in my life. I do not take the simple things for granted!

R was never big on sending me flowers. He was very frugal and didn't like spending money on fresh flowers. He once bought me a peach tree for Valentine's Day. I was so shocked to walk in the living room that morning to see a beautiful flowering peach tree in the middle of the floor! That was more his style. We planted that tree, and I always remembered that it was my Valentine's Day gift. But our last anniversary together on April 26, 2012, he was traveling for work and sent me flowers!! They were beautiful, and I will never forget them.

It is a dreary, cold weather week in northern New Mexico which adds to a dreary mood. Yesterday afternoon I decided to give myself flowers for the 26th. I found a beautiful plant of pink daisies! I love daisies- they are such a happy flower.

Today will be a day of reflection, but I will not dwell on the "What Ifs." I choose today to be thankful for what was, what is, and what is to come!!

I wasn't planning on writing the above post, but when the words come, it is so cathartic to write them down that I just start typing and see where I go... I had started My Peak Of the Week...

It is Wednesday- The Peak Of The Week: Here is my weekly list of items that piqued my interest this week:

A great letter from a mother to a son graduating from college. I could have written parts of it to C. It is a letter to make moms of any age or stage really think!! I saw this on the Design Mom blog

How to honor a loved one who has passed away at wedding celebrations.  From What's Your Grief

An interesting concept- Grief and Menopause. A list of great resources- this article concentrates on the loss of a mother. I wrote a post on Grief and PMS several years ago.

April 24, 2017

What I Read- The Underground Railroad

I'm usually a bit late to the party in terms of reading best sellers. I usually don't jump and buy the latest book on the best sellers lists. What normally happens is that I start seeing a title in reviews that I read and lists that I receive. That happened this past year with the title The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead. I didn't read it even when Oprah added it to her book club.

I finished a book and was searching my local library catalog on my Overdrive app when I saw that The Underground Railroad was available. I downloaded it and fell in love with the book while reading the first chapter.

The book tells the saga of a slave girl named Cora and her struggles as she tries to escape to freedom. The author puts a twist on the concept of a "railroad" by having a physical train and rail that carries slaves underground. I want to watch his interview with Oprah to hear his reasoning for this.

I was excited that while I was reading this book, the author won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction!!

This year marked the 40th anniversary of the mini-series, Roots. Dr. T recorded it and we binge watched it. I was 13 when it came out, and while I know my parents watched it, I don't think I watched even one episode of it. We both loved it and with how polarized our country is today, I was able to have a better understanding of how divided the country was back then.

Watching the mini-series and reading this book--it was unnerving once again to realize how human beings have been treated in our country!! Although I have studied the antebellum era, it is always good for me to learn more to have a better understanding of how things really were. Our history isn't pretty and at times is hard to digest, but I'm a huge believer in the adage that "those who forget history are doomed to repeat it." I hope and pray that as a country we can continue to move forward and that some day the color of a person's skin will not matter. I know we are not there yet, but it is a noble goal that through education can be accomplished. I truly believe that.

Although The Underground Railroad is a work of fiction-- it is historical fiction, and I highly recommend it.

I will do a future post on using the Overdrive app if anyone is interested! 
April 21, 2017

What I Wore- Wednesday Night Church

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Since I don't work outside the home in my new life, I don't really "dress" every day. Even when I am going somewhere, life is so casual these days that I wear jeans a lot! I wear jeans quite a bit to church on Wednesday evenings, but as I looked in my closet on Wednesday afternoon to decide what to wear, I thought I'd wear something comfy and cute!!

You can't get any more comfortable than these pants from The Loft. similar and similar

I also love this top with the feminine ruffle at the bottom! similar

I love this bag which my sister gave me. It is a Guess bag, but here is a similar bag.

When I was a librarian, I went to technology and library conferences every year. Both conferences have large exhibit floors with many vendors. Some of those vendors happen to be clothing, shoes, jewelry... my dear friend Claire always called it the "crap aisle" when we were deciding where to go at the exhibits. It was always a nice break from being "infowhelmed" to go to the "crap aisle."  Several vendors sold Yellowbox shoes, and that is where I got these. I loved wearing Yellowbox when I worked at school. They are inexpensive and very comfortable to wear all day!!
These shoes are similar to mine.
I also found these shoes that I think are great for summer!!

                       I found all of these styles at zappos

April 19, 2017

It's Wednesday- The Peak of the Week!! This one item really piqued my interest this week. It needs to stand on its own.

It's Wednesday-- The Peak Of The Week!!
Only one thing is worthy of being featured this week!!

                                                               Click to view video

I sometimes forget what women before me have had to endure. I realized once again how women have had to fight to equal this week at the Boston Marathon. 50 years ago the first woman ran it, and Monday at age 70, she ran it again.

It is hard to believe that in my lifetime, a race official tried to keep a woman off the course!! I'm so thankful for strong women who have gone before me and paved the way in so many areas of life. How brave she was to do this all those years ago, and how brave she was to train for and run Boston at age 70.

I'm so proud to know two young women who ran it this year!!

I hope I am brave enough and strong enough at age 70 to do something like this!!
April 12, 2017

Peak of the Week-- Things That Piqued My Interest Lately

It's Wednesday- the Peak of the Week. Here are a few things that piqued my interest lately!

There was a terrible wreck in Texas a couple of weeks ago. This article was written right after it happened. So much more is now known. The young man was texting and it came out on Tuesday that he had several prescription drugs in his system. I'm including this older article because I love what it says. We have a choice when something terrible happens. We can trust God or we can trust our doubts. I hope you take the time to read this article. This wreck was personal to me and many people that I know because the camp they were leaving is the same camp that my family has gone to for youth camps and women's retreats! I have been on that same road many times!!

Negative Thoughts- We all have them. I am so much better with negative thoughts than I used to be. I am a much different person now that I was before loss. I am thankful to not live with so many negative thoughts. It reminds me of the book Me And My Big Mouth by Joyce Meyer. This book was life changing for me when I first read it many years ago. As I always say---Words are powerful!!!

My late husband R was a mechanical engineer. Dr T is an electrical engineer and physicist. I have watched both take their professions so seriously. Engineers know that in most situations with their work, lives depend on their knowledge and decisions. This video about a ring that Canadian engineers wear is very interesting. I love having physical objects to remind me of intangible things or ideas.

I'm not OCD, but these photos made me happy!!
15 Photos That Only A Type A person Will Appreciate

Banksy of Grammar - As a former English teacher I loved this! It always makes me laugh to see grammatical errors on signs or business cards!!
My daughter loves Banksy. She bought a Banksy painting when she lived in NYC. 
April 10, 2017

Grief Blogs and Books and Resources- Oh MY!!

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I am still so amazed at the outpouring of kindness that I've received since I made my blog public! I am flattered that so many people have started following me. I'm humbled by the people who have reached out to me. I feel honored that several of you have confided in me your struggles!

A while back a woman emailed me telling me how she just stumbled across my blog while searching for something else. She told me how my words had helped her. She asked if I had any books that I could recommend to help her with her grief.

It made me think that I should share some of the things that have helped me so much over the past few years.

First, I highly recommend the experience of counseling or a support group. I was so lucky to have a friend share a great Christian support group called GriefShare. I was also so very fortunate to have three friends attend with me. I am now leading a group at my church and find that even five years out, I'm gaining insight and strength from it. At the very least, I encourage you to sign up for their daily emails!!

Here are some blogs/ groups  that have really helped:

Grief Healing  - Every week they do a post in which they list links from other blogs. They also have great posts that help with all types of grief.

Soaring Spirits  A group for widowed people. They even have a couple of camps each year so you can go be around others who share the same experiences. Thier blog was a life saver to me early on in my grief journey. A different person writes a new post each day. Several women who meant so much to me have moved on from this group and I follow their personal blogs now!

What's Your Grief - Organization to help with all kinds of grief. I follow them on Facebook. They post great articles on their blog. They do a "grief in six words" post on special occasions. The most powerful "grief in six words" I've ever read was "The smallest caskets are the heaviest" (See how powerful words are??)

Hello Grief is another great resource. I just looked at this site, and it looks like it hasn't been updated in a while, but it is still a great resource so I'm going to keep it here. They still seem active on their Facebook page.  I was even featured when they did a series on exercise and grief. They asked for sound bites for a single article but ended up writing a series and using what everyone had sent in. Here is my post.

Second Firsts  - Christina Rasmussen lost her husband and had to pick her like up and move forward. Through that process, she started Second Firsts. It is also the title of her first book. She is very encouraging about moving forward from many setbacks in life not just the death of a loved one.

And then there is Catherine Tidd.  I found Catherine's Facebook page- Widow Chick, and her publicist sent me a galley copy of her book Confessions Of A Mediocre Widow. I loved the book and recommend it to any widow out there.

For absolutely beautiful writing and encouragement, I love One Fit Widow. Michelle was a young widow with small children after losing her husband in a plane crash. She used exercise to help her with her grief and now has a successful business- I hate to call it a business because it is more like a ministry! Here is her Facebook page. She also has a book coming out soon.

There is power and strength in numbers, and I certainly found both with Modern Widows Club. Carolyn Moor's organization made me realize that I wasn't alone. I paid for her monthly newsletter for a while and it helped me tremendously. I encourage you to do that if you think it will help you.

I also have a few books that were so inspirational for me. I was still able to do regular reading immediately after R passed away, but as time went on my attention span was so short that it took me forever to read a book. It was during this period that blogs became so important to me. I could read a single blog post and have it help me so much without losing my concentration on it. I have finally gotten back to be able to concentrate long enough to read a book. Thank goodness!

Unbroken-  If you have not read this book, I encourage you to start reading it today! I'm no sure how this book crossed my path so soon after R's passing, but I'm so glad that it did. It helped me on so many levels. It made me truly believe that when it is our time to die, we will die. When it is not our time to die, we will not die. What Zamperini went through and survived is awe inspiring. This made me realize that if this man could live through everything that he did, I had the strength to live through the nightmare that was my life at the moment. I cannot recommend this book enough.

The Last Lectures- Written by a college professor, Randy Pausch, about LIVING while he was dying. It literally is his last lecture to his class. Very powerful!

Dream New Dreams-  Written by Randy Pausch's widow, Jai Pausch, it is about Randy's illness and death and how she rebuilt her life in the aftermath. This book was published right after R's passing and it calmed me to know that I wasn't the only one.

Here is a quick list of some other resources that I follow:

Alive and Mortal

Grief Speaks Out

The Widow or Widower Next Door

Carole Brody Fleet -- Widow's Wear Stilettos 

A Widow's Might

A quick google search on the specific type of grief being experienced will bring up other resources. I wish everyone peace on this terrible journey, but I know that things get better, and I pray these resources will be a source of strength and comfort.

I know that I have probably left out a very important resource. If I do I will update this post and put a link to it on future Now Choose Life blog posts!

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April 07, 2017

What I Wore: Sunday Church

View from our walk early Sunday morning!

It is still cold here in the mountains of New Mexico. We have had two snow storms come through so I'm still wearing winter clothes. Here is what I wore to church on Sunday!

Pants- Ann Taylor (similar)  Shoes- Gianni Bini (similar for spring)

Vest- Kristen Blake I bought years ago.
I love to wear vests here are some that I like for spring: belted, blush (I love this color for spring)
or on sale now for next season- faux fur, nylon

Dr. T's hat was my Christmas gift to him. We saw it in Europe last fall and he really liked it. It is a Stetson so that really made him like it. Fun to buy a Stetson cap in Europe!!!
Life with this sweet little pup, Scout is always fun. He isn't really a pup- he's about 12 years old. 
He brings a lot of joy to our lives!!

April 06, 2017

Grief and The Today Show

Bob Harper on the Today Show (link)

One of my favorite things about my morning routine is that I get my coffee and breakfast and sit down to the Today Show each and every day! I think I appreciate it so much because, for years, I was always rushed in my mornings. To take my time and savor my coffee is a luxury that I don't take for granted.

This week has been no different except on Tuesday. I watched Savana Guthrie interview Bob Harper from the Biggest Loser who recently suffered a heart attack. As I sat there watching a listening to him, it just washed over me. Hearing the words:  "heart attack" "6% survival rate" "death" crashed down on me. Flashbacks to the worst night of my life when R collapsed in front of me came back to me in a more powerful way than they have in a long time. I had major flashbacks to that night in the beginning, but as time went on they were less frequent. But the pain of grief blindsided me that morning, and I was hurting.

Grief is like that, isn't it? Always lurking, always ready to spring itself on you when you least expect it!

I was experiencing the pain of grief like I haven't in a while. Maybe it's that April is such a hard month for me. It was always the best month--- springtime, new life, beautiful flowers and my anniversary with R, but then April 29, 2012 came and changed all of that.  April has been the month of dread, the month of pain, the month of anticipation of that day. Of course, it is so much better than it was in the beginning, but it is still difficult. I'm not sad all the time by any means, but IT is just there under the surface. One of the best articles that I've ever read about the anticipation of an upcoming anniversary of a loved one's death was written by Christina Rasmussen- author of Second Firsts. Her blog post titled "Don't get on the anniversary train"  really resonates with me. I'm working on not getting on that train, and I am much better than I was a few years ago. And I have the hope that each year will get better!!

Something else that has really helped me is a particular story in my GriefShare group from a few weeks ago. Each time we meet we watch a video. One person who speaks on the videos is Dr. Susan Zonnebelt- Smeenge who lost her husband. She tells of widows in her church telling her how she would never be truly happy again, but she realized that she could not live her life not ever being truly happy again. She says that the grief journey doesn't have to be where you are always grieving and feeling bad. You can and should be happy again.

Grief is a journey where you experience intense loss and sadness. Your life is on a detour, but no detours last forever. Eventually, you get back into the mainstream of life. There is the other side of grief where God heals us along with our help and hard work. She says that she got to the point where she is no longer grieving the loss of her husband. As we heal, we remember our loved one differently than in the beginning. We revisit our sadness. She likens it to a high school or college graduation. You go through your grief journey- just like we go through school. We graduate, but we don't forget those school years. We even go back for reunions. Momentary sadnesses are going back for reunions- we remember the way that it was or think about how it would have been if they were still here. But we aren't grieving- we are experiencing a momentary sadness, not the terrible pains of grief.

I love the analogy of my times of pain that I feel now being a reunion and not true, all-encompassing grief. So I guess really this week, I've had a reunion of my loss. I am so much better, and I'm so thankful to be better.

I also know that everything that has happened to me in my life has passed through God's hands. Knowing that and choosing to believe that gives me peace. I will make it through the month of April, and I know from past experience that I will be stronger for it! I'm always stronger when I get to the other side!!

I feel better already just getting this all out of my head and down on paper!! Thanks for listening!!
April 05, 2017

My Top Style Icons

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#fashionover40 #fashionover50 #fashionover60 #fashionover70 #fashionover80

My top style icons are: I love these women because their look is timeless and classic!!
Audrey Hepburn

Jackie Kennedy Onassis
Princess Diana

AND my mother!!!

 When my sister and I were growing up my mother took us shopping quite a bit. I think she liked to get us away so we could talk. I know I opened up to her a lot on those shopping trips!! She's a smart lady.

One of her favorite places to shop was a department store called Sakowitz. I don't think they are even in business anymore. I thought it was normal for all of the sales people to know her by name. That was just the way it was every time we went to the store. I realized as I got older that it is not the norm!! I think they all remembered her because of how she stood out in a crowd. Beautiful red hair, flawless skin, and always dressed so beautifully!! She also treated everyone well- unless they made her mad- but that is a topic for another blog post!!

Here is my mom with my daughter when M was in high school. I love this picture of my mom because it shows her flawless skin. Her number one beauty advice to me when I was growing up was to always wash my face before I went to bed. I can honestly say that I do not remember a night going to bed without a clean face!! That is one area where I've remained obedient to my mother throughout my life!! 

Me with the three most important women in my life! M, my mom, me and The Suze (my sister). I can't imagine my life without them. My mom has taught us about building a wardrobe and on what pieces to invest. She just believes in always looking your best!!

I would be remiss to not mention that she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Besides teaching me about fashion and style, she taught me so much about living an abundant life. She is a perfect example of a loving wife and mother. She always reminded me of what my grandma (her mother) always said, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone." I'll never forget that quote from Grandma!!!

Fashion has been a strong bond for me, my mother, my sister, and my daughter. It is something that we enjoy talking and thinking about. Having it in common has made us very close. We have shared some wonderful moments while out shopping!!

Not everyone thinks that fashion is important, but my mother does. She believes it sets a tone for us and shows people who we are on the inside by how we present ourselves on the outside. She believes in caring about that presentation. She's always said, "You don't have to spend a lot of money on clothes to look nice." But she did teach me that how you present yourself to others matters in life. I do believe that to be true.

All of that and ----wear sunscreen- Yes, Always Wear Sunscreen!!

April 03, 2017

Choosing A Healthy Life- My Sweet Potato Nachos

Most Mondays are Meatless Mondays at our house. I usually make a great "big salad" (you Seinfeld aficionados will understand). I also bake sweet potatoes and serve them with Ranch Style Beans- those flavors together are delicious!!!

I wanted to do something different last week, but sweet potatoes are so healthy that I wanted to use them- enter Sweet Potato Nachos. I heard about making them on my all time favorite blog, Hungry Runner Girl. My son, C, also likes to make them. I texted C to make sure I was on the right track and below is what I came up with. It is not meatless, but they were so wonderful and filling and fairly healthy!!

I preheated the oven to 400 on convection roast. I sliced the sweet potatoes- skin on.
Put them all in a ziplock and mixed to coat them with olive oil. 

I placed them on a jellyroll pan to bake while I cooked the meat.

After cooking the hamburger meat, I drained and rinsed it
and added taco seasoning and Rotel tomatoes.

This is my favorite seasoning. I find it at HEB stores in Texas.

Add caption

I then added vegetarian refried beans to the potato slices.

I used refried beans with green chilis because I live in New Mexico now!

I then added the beef mixture, topped it with cheese and put it in the oven to bake until the cheese was melted and everything was HOT.

While baking, I diced tomatoes.

Finished product!

Plated and ready to eat!! It was really good!!

So here are some questions:
1. If you like to use sweet potatoes, how do you add them to your meals?
2. Do you ever do a Meatless Monday? If so, I'd love to know what you fix.
3. Will you try Sweet Potato Nachos? If so, please let me know what you think!!
April 01, 2017

Run at the track- It didn't go well!!

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Even though I've lived at 7300 feet for almost 2 years, the altitude still bothers me- I think! I have been struggling with my running since I moved here. I have stopped running for months at a time for several reasons!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses:
1. No one to run with... that is changing as I've met several great women who share my love of running and being outdoors.
2. I can't complete a run of any length (without stopping to walk) because there are so many hills, big and small, that have to be conquered. Running up a hill at 7300 feet takes a beast that I honestly don't know I'll ever be.
3. My sinus issues have played a role, but I hate to have so many excuses. My last visit to my ENT was good except he said he was a bit disappointed that I have some inflammation back. But he talked to me about my energy level. He told me it would take several months to be able to handle any exercise like I had before the surgery.

So here I am... I had hiked a few times since the snows have started melting. I love to hike here. It is so beautiful and I love seeing all the nature we run into on a hike.

Last Saturday I ran (walked the hills) 10 miles with some friends. It wasn't smart of me as the farthest I've gone has been between 5 and 6 miles. All the training I've done in the past has taught me not to add too many miles at once to avoid injury!! But since we were walking the hills, I really did OK. I had the great runners high at the end. It was a beautiful day!

Surprisingly I wasn't sore after the Saturday outing. This week I went to two Insanity classes (sample) and one weight lifting class that is like BodyPump (sample). All were leg intensive and each class wore out my legs. That brings me to Friday morning... 

Because of my issues with running the hills here, I've been wanting to go to the football field and run on the track just to see how far I can run at this altitude on a flat surface. I met a friend at the middle school field and track. It ended up being one of the worst runs I've had!! I could not get into a rhythm and as soon as I would get a bit of a distance behind me my legs and Achilles Heal would ache until I had to stop. I finished 3.5 miles, but it was not pretty!!! 

Lesson learned- don't add too many miles at one time, be sure to rest my legs, and Yoga needs to be added to my life!!

Moving from Texas to New Mexico has been a great experience. It is so different here. This picture is a perfect example of the differences. This is the field at our middle school. It is beautiful- artificial turf with a great track around it. Way across the field are the only stands! Very small stands by Texas standards. I think it is a perfect picture for my new community- affluent and highly educated. Football is definitely not king here, but if you are going to have a football field and track at your middle school, you want the best!! 

My running life is so much like life in general!! It is a struggle. Some days/ runs are better than others. But, you have to keep going. You have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and Never, Never give up!!

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