What I learned December 2016

1.  People who market shampoos and conditioners are not very smart. If advertising/ marketing is still geared towards baby boomers (of which I am a part- born 1964 so I barely make it in), they should know to have the words SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER written in large letters. I don't take my reading glasses into the shower. I'm sure I look hilarious trying to figure out which bottle is which!!! Please marketers-- Do Something About This!

2.  It is my husband's job to tell me if I have a chin hair that needs to be plucked.  I don't like coming home to my 10X magnification makeup mirror to find that I have a wild hair on my chin.  He knew he was marrying a 50ish woman when he married me.  He should have known that it comes with the territory!!

3.  On a much more serious note, I've learned that grief will be with me forever. It isn't the same as it was in those early years, but the ache of loss is still deep in my soul. The whisper of "he's not here" is always faint in my mind.

4.  Pets cure a thousand ills. I got my little Scout over the Thanksgiving holidays so he has been with me in New Mexico. He has brought so much joy to me and Dr. T!!  We have laughed about the things he does and how he reacts to us. He has been so much fun. I have had a skip to my step this season and it is so nice to have a bit of it back. I've listened to Christmas music, baked some treats, and watch Hallmark Christmas movies. Things I haven't done in 5 years!!!

Dr T and Scout

6. I love my husband. Dr T supports me on so many levels. He listens to my feelings about this time of year and understands. He listens and tells me what he thinks or just listens to me and hugs me. I love him so much for that. My soul deeply loves his soul, and that is a wonderful love!!

Party Top!!!

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I wrote earlier in the season about wanting to find a velvet party top for an upcoming party, but then I got an email from The Loft!!

I fell in love with this blouse when I saw it. The off the shoulder style and tie at the sleeve gave it a bit of a party feel.

I usually wear a S or M, and I ordered a M in this. I think that is the perfect fit for me because it fell back to the perfect spot off my shoulders after I did something like pick up my arms or take my coat off.

This would be a great NYE Party top. I didn't feel self conscious because I still felt fully covered in this. I would absolutely buy this again.

Here are my pictures. I'm sorry for the quality of my pictures. This truly is a start up blog and I don't have a professional photographer- just a very supportive husband!! Which shows I am not getting anything for this post!  I love this blouse! 

Love that it covers my bum.

Looked great with this amazing necklace from 

                                                      Bittersweet Designs

My blog about my love for Bittersweet Designs can be found here.

Fritos Trail Mix

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I just heard of this great snack this year. I'm very disappointed that I haven't known about it all these years. It is one of the best "snack to give as a gift" that I have ever made. I have now made 4 batches of it. I wanted to make sure I have enough to take to our families over the holidays after I gave some to friends.

I heard about this snack on a recipe Facebook group that I'm part of. They shared the blog post- Fritos Sweet and Salty Snack Mix with the recipe so I want to make sure that I give her credit. Be sure to go over an see other great recipes that she has on her blog.

I just like to call it Christmas Crack because it is so addicting!!!

I'm also going to list it here so you'll have it on this page along with my personal pictures from my baking day!! I had some toasted quinoa that I made a week ago. I ended up adding that to the liquid mixture right before I poured it over the dry mixture. I think it added a great flavor!!

Ingredients

• 1 bag (10.5 oz) Fritos
• 2 cups Rice Chex Cereal
• 2 cups pretzels (any shape)
• 1 1/2 cups mixed nuts
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
• 1/2 cup light corn syrup (like Karo)
• 1 cup chocolate candies (like m&m's)

Instructions

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In large bowl combine Fritos, chex cereal, pretzels, and nuts. Set aside.
3. In small sauce pan, over medium heat, combine the brown sugar, butter, and corn syrup. Let come to a boil, then boil for 4 minutes without stirring.
4. Remove pan from heat and pour over the Fritos mixture in the large bowl. Stir together to coat evenly.
5. Dump the snack mix onto parchment lines cookie sheets (you may need 2) and cook for 8 minutes. Take out, stir mix, and cook for an additional 8 minutes.
6. Pour onto a wax paper lined counter top and let cool completely. Brake apart and add in chocolate candies.

Step 2

 Step 3

Step 4

Step 5

Step 6 

Always at the ready- Scout never left my side!!

I will be honest. This is the first Christmas that I've felt like doing any baking or making of special treats in many years. Grief is still my companion, but I refuse to let it ruin my life. I'm choosing life!!  I hope the rest of you are choosing to live an abundant life during this special time of you.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

Call Me Ishmael! Really- Call

Call Me Ishmael

When I read a good book, I always want to share it with others. I love it when others are passionate about what they are reading. It's great to get a good book suggestion.

Unfortunately there are sometimes when the book I love isn't the Cup Of Tea of others. I still want to be able to share my thoughts on why I love a particular book.

Enter Call Me Ishmael. A website where anyone can go to tell the world why they love a book. I recently went back on and wonderfully, To Kill A Mockingbird (my favorite novel) was featured.

What a great way to share the love of a good book!!!

Decorating For Christmas- Or Not

I like having some Christmas decorations out in the house. It makes the season a bit more joyous. 

In my old life, I went all out to decorate the house for Christmas. Especially after my kids were in college, I wanted them to come home to a home filled with Christmas cheer.

I placed a tree and nativity scene in almost every room. My collection of vintage Santa mugs lined the window sill in the kitchen. My open shelves were decorated with individual ornaments and my white cabinets were adorned with red ribbon where I placed my Christmas cards.

But my home hasn't been decorated like that for 5 Christmases. Since R passed away, I could not muster the strength to get into those boxes of decorations. The first Christmas, I found a bare tree at Walmart. It looked exactly as I felt- no life. It really was pretty in its own way.

I used that tree for a couple of years. I eventually placed a red bird on a branch.

I then moved on to a couple of trees- again with no ornaments. I love looking at lights, and it added some warmth to the room.

Decorating for Christmas is still difficult. It is easier in a new home, but I still don't seem to have the energy to go All Out. Dr. T understands and wants me to do what I feel like doing. I have a hard time deciding what I want to bring from the house in Texas to the house in New Mexico. There are so many decorations that have such special meaning to my old like- I feel like they should stay at the house in Texas. I don't understand it myself, but a friend last night encouraged me to start collecting new ornaments and decorations and not to think about those others until I want to deal with it. I think I will follow that advice.

So here are some pictures from my old life: (these are from my last Christmas with R)

Here is my much simpler new life decorating:

What I'm Reading

This was NOT a good book to lug around an airport while traveling to Chicago this past weekend, but I had started it and want to finish it!!

I have had this book for years, but had never read it. As a former educator, I'm always interested in stories like the Columbine massacre. This book has proven to bring back those horrible feelings after the initial shock of the shootings all those years ago. It has been a while since I read anything about Columbine so I want to go back and see how accurate some of the incidences he places in the book really are.

The narrator in the story is a teacher whose wife is a school nurse at Columbine. He is away on the day of the shooting, but makes his way back to find his wife.

I love Wally Lamb's writing. She's Come Undone  is one of my favorite books. If you haven't ever read it, I do recommend it!

I put a hold on this book today- I hope to get it before Christmas!!

Buy It here

The Sound of Silence

Dr. T works very long hours so I've found myself alone most of the time for the past 1 1/2 years. I went from a school full of middle school kids and teachers to nothing!! I went from hearing 500 kids talking in a hallway during passing period to nothing.

I like sounds and noise. I like the sound of a busy city street. But I've learned that I also like the sound of silence. A firetruck drove by my house this morning with it's siren on. I haven't heard a siren in many, many months. It certainly got my attention. This afternoon I sit here needing to pack for a trip tomorrow, and I have everything turned off and I'm enjoying the sound of silence.

I think the reason that I like to keep the TV or radio on is that in the silence, I think too much. With R's birthday coming up this weekend, I'm thinking about him, and I always think about what he's missing and it makes me a little sad. This is the time of year when I revert back to the early months  and years after loss, and I cry for no reason. I don't usually stay sad for long, but just a short burst of sadness and then is subsides- that is my life now, and that's OK.

So as I sit here this afternoon during the start of the Most Wonderful Time of the year, I know that there are so many hurting people out there. I know that the holidays are a hard time for so many. I know that silence can be hard at times. But I am going to try to conquer the silence. I'm going to try to embrace what is my life, and be so thankful for the many things that are so right with my world at this time.

I have found that there is a "sound" to silence. It is whatever I tell myself- what Dr. Phil calls our  elevator music. I can feed my soul with negative thoughts or I can feed my soul with positive thoughts. It is my choice. I choose positive- it just feels so much better.

I've always loved the song, "The Sound of Silence." I get something new out of it every time I hear it. I think it is very appropriate for what so many people feel if they experience loneliness especially this time of year. I can feel the emotion of walking alone down a cobblestone street. We attempt to turn from the cold and dampness of loneliness. One very common feeling of people experiencing grief is that they feel alone even when they are in a room full of people. The line in the song of seeing 10,000 people maybe more always makes me think of that feeling.

I remember being at a friend's house for a party during the first holiday season after R passed away. I was ready to go home, and a few people (especially M) didn't want me to go home to an empty house. What they didn't realize is that had been my life for months- I went home every day to an empty house.

In my life today, I don't ever go home to an empty house, and Dr T doesn't have to go home to an empty house- we have each other, and I will never take that for granted.

I'm enjoying the sounds of my silent house this afternoon. It is calm and relaxing. Even after 5 years, I still can't play a lot of Christmas music like I used to, but I'm getting better. I may just put some on today.

I hope that we can all find some time for silence during this very busy time of year. I hope that it is in that silence that we can reflect on what is right with our personal lives and also rejoice in all that is right with our world! I hope you are experiencing peace today!