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Now Choose Life

Choose to Live Your Life in Abundance in the after--- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave. Join me on my journey of CHOOSING LIFE in my after. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live- Deut 30:19

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September 28, 2016


     Not long after R passed away; a friend's son got married.  It was a small wedding, and many of my friends were there.  During the reception, the college kids were dancing and having a blast.  My friends got me out to dance with them.  We had so much fun, and for a brief bit of time, I forgot the reality of my life.  
      Since that time, I have been to many weddings.  My kids are at the age where all of their friends are getting married.  I am happy to say that I have danced like no one is watching at every wedding.  My friend whose son was married after R passed away has been diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease.  I often remember her dancing at her sons wedding and having a blast.  It has become a metaphor for me and my life. Dance!!  No matter what happens in her life, she and others will know that she danced her heart out that that wedding. I plan to really kick up my heals when M and C get married some day.  I plan to kick up my heals every day of my life.  I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive!  My life is a privilege that others have been denied.  Why would I waste it??
     This past weekend, I was at another wedding.  You can bet I was out there dancing with Dr. T and am lucky that my daughter and her friends will let me dance with them!!  Life is too short to sit on the sidelines and not dance!!  I hope you (and I) always dance.
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The Greatest of Friends

My blessings

Always laughter when we are together!
Friends for Life
My handsome son.

My Children
My date and dance partner!
Great Friends
Mother of the Bride

September 18, 2016

More Changes

    Today has been one of those days- a really bad day- emotions that I was not expecting swept in and tried to take me under.  I've tried not to think; I've tried to put thoughts out of my mind; I've tried to keep these negative emotions at bay, but I haven't been very successful.  The day has just sucked!
      M has announced after several weeks of prayer and contemplation that she is moving to Chicago.  She is so excited and I am very happy for her.  Everyone  was told last night and then it just started washing over me that life is moving on a breakneck speed and R isn't here for any of it.  The kids are doing well and their lives are full and R isn't here to know that.
     It makes me so sad.  It makes me have that completely empty feeling that I had for months on end.  I keep telling myself that THIS is just part of it.  These emotions and feelings will be with me for the rest of my life.  I guess the good news is that I have allowed myself to just let the feelings come and do what they will instead of trying to run from them.  I'm allowing them to serve their purpose- although I'm not quite sure what purpose they serve.  My hope is that when I get on the other side of this, I'll feel stronger.  That has been how it has been in the past.  I feel better when I get to the other side.  I feel better after the brunt of the pain.
I'm happy for my daughter.  I'm excited for the future to see what great things she accomplishes in Chicago.  I have to believe that God will bless our future even greater than he blessed our past.

I just have to because I have to believe that.