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Now Choose Life

Choose to Live Your Life in Abundance in the after--- after the spouse dies, after the marriage ends, after the kids leave. Join me on my journey of CHOOSING LIFE in my after. This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live- Deut 30:19

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July 17, 2016

Still Dealing With Mom Guilt!!

I'm back in Texas for a week.  I drove to my parents' house for a weekend visit.  Monday I drive down to my house for a visit with my son.  Daughter M and Dr. T both fly in from different directions on Thursday.  they land within an hour of each other so that will be great for me.  I won't have to make another trip to the airport.

My parents have been fun and I laugh so hard at the things they say!!!  All I can say about my mom is that "she's a doodle."  (See Driving Miss Daisy if you don't know what that means!!

I have been anxious about some things with this weekend.  M really wanted to be able to be in her house for a bit around the wedding.  I changed my plans and decided to go early to the wedding so she could do that. Dr. T and I have to drive back home on Sunday.  M's flight isn't until Monday.  There are no definite plans on how she will get back home from the wedding and no plans for how she will get to the airport.  I know at 24 all of that really is her issue, but as her mom, I feel like it is partly mine too.

I keep feeling guilty that I can't be at her disposal to get her where she needs to be for this wedding.  If our lives hadn't been completely turned upside down 4 years ago by the death of her dad, I would be able to do whatever she needs.  However, that isn't our life anymore.  I will be ready to go home with Dr. T on Sunday.  I'm very happy in my life with him--- and then I feel guilty about that!!!

I guess all of this is just normal for someone in my position, but wanting your old life back while you are very happy with your life now is a hard way to live!!!
July 11, 2016

Canyon Road in Santa Fe and Serendipity / Godwinks

Serendipity: " luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are                          not looked for"  Merriam- Webster online dictionary

Synchronicity: "the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events                              (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image                              of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are 

                           not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used    
                           especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung    
                                                                       Merriam- Webster  Online Dictionary                                                                                        
Godwink: An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing 
                  that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer
                        to a prayer

I have written several times about the just plain weird things that have happened to me since R passed away.  The synchronicities, serendipities, Godwinks- whatever they are- and I do believe they are from God- have been such blessings in my life, and it all makes me wonder how many I've missed along the way.

In March, I was back in Texas visiting my parents.  I was looking at a magazine and saw and an article about a jewelry line called Bittersweet Designs.  I have used the word "Bittersweet" to describe so many things in my life over the past 5 summers and so the name caught my eye.  Then I started looking at the pieces of jewelry -some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen.  

I noticed that the artist who designs the necklaces is in Santa Fe, and since I live near there, I really wanted to go by her studio on Canyon Road and see her pieces.  I felt very drawn to the beauty of her work as well as the choice of the name.  I liked her page on Facebook and went on with my life.

Over the course of the next few weeks, the idea of living an abundant life kept coming into my mind.  I kept remembering the scripture John 10:10 "...I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  I thought about this a lot over several weeks and had come to the conclusion that there is a responsibility on our part to make sure that we are living our life to our fullest potential: that we are enjoying the simple things in life- we have a responsibility of action if this promise is made to us. During this time R's dad passed away and M and C met me to attend their grandfather's funeral.  I remember driving them around the hometown that their dad and I grew up in and telling them about these thoughts I was having about living an abundant life- which I happily feel they are both doing even though they have suffered a great loss.

 After returning to New Mexico from the funeral, one of my dearest friends, Pam, was coming to visit and we were planning a day on Canyon Road.  Bittersweet Designs always puts great quotes up on their Facebook page and just before Pam came I noticed one.  I clicked on the link to their website to find the address on Canyon Road so we could go there when she came,  and as I scrolled down to the bottom of the page there is was-- the words

An ultimate "God Wink" to me!! These words that I had been using so often lately that were taking on great meaning in my life all here in the same shop that just happened to be where I live.  After the chills subsided, I thought to myself, "What could this mean?" My friends are so used to me going on and on about these unexplained Godwinks in my life. I shared all of this with Pam and she wanted to be with me on my first trip to this beautiful shop.

 Pam and I found the shop first thing on our Canyon Road excursion.  It is a delightful shop.  We were able to meet and talk to the wonderful woman who makes all of the jewelry. She has a wonderful life story of escaping Cambodia and coming to America.  It was not just a shopping trip; It was an experience!!  Pam and I both bought the same necklace, and I can't wait to go back to find another piece to add. 

Where the jewelry is made!

What could this Godwink possible mean in my life?  I just don't believe in coincidence, but truly feel that this experience was meant for me.  Just my personal wink from God that yes indeed, He is still on his throne and cares deeply about my life. 

If you find yourself in Santa Fe, be sure to stop by Bittersweet Designs.  You won't be disappointed.  You can also shop online at Bittersweet Designs.

I love everything about this shop- my love of words in general, made me oooh and awwwh over all of the quotes and cards around the store.  

Pam and I with our purchases!!!  Such a fun experience with a dear friend and a memory I won't soon forget.

And my necklace on the right!!