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Bitter With The Sweet

Monday, January 11, 2016

I just returned from a wonderful trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming.  It was a ski trip hosted by Dr. T's best friend.  The weather was perfect- so I was told, but it was still cold to me.  The skiing was a bit icy in places and I was the skier who had a hard time keeping up.  The last time I went skiing was 6 years ago when M was a senior in high school.

I have wonderful memories of skiing with R and the kids.  We usually went skiing with a couple of other families.  The greatest memories I have of skiing is watching the kids ski and have such a great time.  Those memories were very much with me on this trip.  It was a bit hard at times.  One day when it was time to go back out to the slopes after lunch, I asked Dr. T if he wanted to stay in for just 30 more minutes.  His response was that we came there to ski, and he thought we should go out and ski.  That statement was kind of like a slap in the face.  He didn't mean it to be mean, but he was just being honest... the fact is-- we were there to ski.

 It hit me then why I felt melancholy at times.  I had never been on a ski trip for the sheer enjoyment of skiing.  I always went skiing to watch the kids ski and have fun.  This was new to me.  I had never been on the slopes just to ski.  That night I had a mini melt down and just laid in bed and cried-  not sobbing, but just tears streaming.  Dr. T just let me let it all out.  The next day he planned a snowmobile tour into Yellowstone Park to see Old Faithful.  While we were up waiting on our shuttle to pick us up, he looked at me and said, "I know all your past ski trips have been about your kids, but today is about you.  I want us to really enjoy this day together."  How sweet.  I know he doesn't completely understand how I feel about my kids.  But I know that he is sympathetic to what I am feeling.

And so once again I realize that for the rest of my life, I will take the bitter with the sweet.  That is my life.  The trick is being prepared for it and not being blindsided by it.  I'm still not there yet.
Seeing Old Faithful!!


My ski buddies

Lunch at the Cowboy Bar in JH

Snowmobiling in Yellowstone
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