Handling Life

Sunday, September 7, 2014

My life is changing, and I'm okay with that.  I really don't understand the sense of calm that I experience in my life these days.  I guess it really is true that when one of the worst things in your life that can possibly happen to you happens, it changes you.

I'm not afraid of the future.  In fact I'm looking forward to it- no matter what the future brings.  I am starting to see life as more of a journey than a destination.  I am looking forward to see what is around the next corner.  I am learning to live with the void of losing R which I now know I will never get over-  I am learning to live with it.

The latest obstacle is to know how much to share with my late husband's family about my personal life.  In the past, I have warned them of something big that I am doing- especially with Dr. T.  I don't want them to see it on Facebook without first hearing it from me.  But with a  trip with Dr. T coming up, my own family- my mother, sister, and daughter have told me that I shouldn't tell them.  They believe that it is more hurtful for them to hear it from me ahead of time.  This opinion broke my heart.  I have cried and cried thinking that I may have hurt them more in this terrible situation.  I know it is hard on them to see me move forward in this area of my life-  I don't want to ever cause them more pain than I have to.

What do you think?  I would love to know.  Should in laws of a late spouse be "warned" of things in the personal life of the person left behind, or should they just hear about it from others or see it on Facebook?  I'm sure that just as everything with grief- the is as individual as the person going through it.  But, I would love to know others' opinions!!